Film Club Extra

Lovely to have a record attendance of 63 people last night to see Sliding Doors and discuss the issues raised. David's final thoughts follow for those who would like to study them some more.

Final thoughts – Sliding Doors (Feb 2008)

That split second in which you can catch or miss a train can make all the difference. Many years ago now I took the funeral service in Southampton of one of those who was tragically killed in the Clapham Train Crash. And in a packed crematorium were many of his fellow passengers, including one person who normally sat with him, but on that particular day had been delayed and had missed the train. And he was now pondering as he stared at his friends coffin how thin is the dividing line between two very different outcomes.

In what is a light hearted and gentle comedy, the director Peter Howitt the former star of the sitcom Bread, explores how life itself can take two very different paths. In many ways it’s a fairly conventional love story of boy meets girl and other girl discovers that boy has met this girl and then she herself re-meets a boy that had previously passed her by and then the first boy loses both girls and wants to wind back time. As I say pretty standard stuff - popular since the time of Shakespeare. But within that basic premise we do begin to explore the much deeper question of 'What if?' What would our life have looked like if a decision that we made, or one that was made for us, had been so very different?

So think for a moment. What have been the key moments in life and love, in work and play that have taken us down a particular route and determined all our future options?

And can we ever know whether the decision made at that time was the one we should have made; which of the alternate realities that we see Helen living out on screen was the one that should have been and which was the aberration? All things being equal was it better that she caught the train and discovered the truth, or that she missed the train and continued in blissful ignorance? Who were you hoping she’d end up with and why?

Well in this case it’s pretty black and white. We know who the good guy is and who the bad guy is, and who is the scarlet woman for that matter. So does the romantic in us simply long for a happy ending? But in many other decisions in life it's not so clear cut - more shades of grey. And what is right and therefore good may not be so obvious. How do we decide what the best option is, how can we tell what is right, and what is good, not just for us but for others who may be deeply affected by our choice? It can all get pretty complicated, and you can see why some people feel the need to pray for guidance, when faced with such matters.

Is there someone out there who understands all the possible routes that life could take based on this moment of decision, all the possible ramifications of that decision and then in some way can help us to choose the better way?

Some having asked for such greater wisdom through prayer then carefully go back over all the options and make their choice based on the logic of what they now see. Others are guided at this stage more by a gut reaction and follow their heart doing what now seems to be right. Our spirit making these choices, being guided by the one to whom we pray probably needs to be fed by both a changed mind and a changed heart to make the best possible choice.

For Christians the prayer at such times of great decision, indeed at all times really if we can be bothered to stop and ask, is for the mind of Christ, in other words the priorities of Jesus the attitude that he had, his vision of the greater good which he called the Kingdom of God. It is that mind, that heart that could lead us to do what is best in the broadest sense.

Having said that, we watch this film at the start of Lent in the run up to Easter and it may be important to note that one of the choices that Jesus made, in his God given wisdom, was to invite Judas Iscariot to be on his team, the man who would in time betray him and hand him over for execution. But maybe in the fullness of time that was still for the best.

So far I’ve been talking about when we have the luxury of the choice being in our hands with time to weigh up all the options, but sometimes as with Helen getting on that train, or not, the choice is determined by random chance, or the actions of others. What then? Can we still check out whether we are in the right reality or do we just make the best of the hand that life has dealt us?

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, half a loaf is better than no bread and better the devil you know, all bits of folk wisdom that encourage us to be content with what we have, and not spend our time dreaming of what might have been. But can’t we be a bit more positive than that? Are there not ways to develop and improve whatever we have chosen or been dealt, and find within it - a deeper and fuller experience of loving and being loved? If we are as I believe, all made in the image of God, in other words if we all have a spiritual nature that gives us the capacity to love and be loved, then whatever our circumstances we can grow and develop in that capacity.

We will never know what might have been, nor do we know what is yet to be; what we do know is what we have and are. And if we cherish that which is, then it can only get better as we draw out of one another the very best that we are capable of. And one of the signs that we are in a healthy relationship is that we bring out the best in each other and not the worst.

There’s a classic quote on being good for each other in the film 'As good as it gets.' Perhaps we’ll watch it and discuss it together in a future showing. In that film, Carol, a waitress played by Helen Hunt pleads with Melvin, an obsessive compulsive, played by Jack Nicholson, to give her just one compliment and Jack Nicholson, who’s not used to all this romance stuff, thinks for a moment and then says in all sincerity , 'You make me want to be a better person.' We see then that these two most unlikely characters are indeed good for each other, meant for each other, and that is ‘as good as it gets’. Our Helen, catching the train, or not, is like all of us searching for the one who will bring the best out of her and help her to be the very best that she can be. And at the end of the film we are left with the hope that come what may she may yet find that person.

Good night and God bless.

David Bagwell. Feb 2008